Monthly Archives: April 2008

oh the irony

I guess one of the pitfalls of being the 21st century’s “hog butcher for the world,” is that sometimes you inadvertently manufacture items that, while free of any deadly contaminants, are just embarrassing.

BBC: ‘Free Tibet’ flags made in China

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Filed under things I find amusing

The Quintessence of Gentlemanly Beverages. . .

This made my day/week/month, in the same way that The Philadelphia Story did—the gentlemanly love of drink, and the baroque linguistic decadence, the gentle wit:

Major General Wm. D. Connor
West Point, N.Y.

My Dear General Connor:

Your letter requesting my formula for mixing mint juleps leaves me in the same position in which Capt. Barber found himself when asked how he was able to carve the image of an elephant from a block of wood. He replied that it was a simple process consisting merely of whittling off the part that didn’t look like an elephant.

The preparation of the quintessence of gentlemanly beverages can only be described in like terms. A mint julep is not the product of a formula. It is a ceremony and must be performed by a gentleman possessing a true sense of the artistic, a deep reverence for the ingredients and a proper appreciation of the occasion. It is a rite that must not be entrusted to a novice, a statistician nor a Yankee. It is a heritage of the old South, an emblem of hospitality and a vehicle in which noble minds can travel together upon the flower-strewn paths of a happy and congenial thought.

So far as the mere mechanics of the operation are concerned, the procedure, stripped of its ceremonial embellishments, can be described as follows:

Go to a spring where cool, crystal-clear water bubbles from under a bank of dew-washed ferns. In a consecrated vessel, dip up a little water at the source. Follow the stream through its banks of green moss and wildflowers until it broadens and trickles through beds of a mint growing in aromatic profusion and waving softly in the summer breeze.

Gather the sweetest and tenderest shoots and gently carry them home.

Go to the sideboard and select a decanter of Kentucky Bourbon, distilled by a master hand, mellowed with age yet still vigorous and inspiring. An ancestral sugar bowl, a row of silver goblets, some spoons and some ice and you are ready to start. In a canvas bag, pound twice as much ice as you think you will need. Make it fine as snow, keep it dry and do not allow to degenerate into slush.

In each goblet, put a slightly heaping teaspoonful of granulated sugar, barely cover this with spring water and slightly bruise one mint leaf into this, leaving the spoon in the goblet. Then pour elixir from decanter until the goblets are about one-fourth full. Fill the goblets with snowy ice, sprinkling in a small amount of sugar as you fill. Wipe the outside of the goblets dry and embellish copiously with mint.

Then comes the important and delicate operation of frosting. By proper manipulation of the spoon, the ingredients are circulated and blended until Nature, wishing to take a further hand and add another of its beautiful phenomena, encrusts the whole in a glistening coat of white frost. Thus harmoniously blended by the deft touches of a skilled hand, you have a beverage eminently appropriate for honorable men and beautiful women.

When all is ready, assemble your guests on the porch or in the garden where the aroma of the juleps will rise Heavenward and make the birds sing. Propose a worthy toast, raise the goblet to your lips, bury your nose in the mint, inhale a deep breath of its fragrance and sip the nectar of the gods.

Being overcome by thirst, I can write no further.

Sincerely,

Lt. Gen. S.B. Buckner, Jr. *
V.M.I. Class of 1906

*Killed in Okinawa, 1945
Promoted Posthumously to full General, July 1954

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Filed under love of drink

aahh subway monster!

he’s done other things, but this by far is the most ambitious and ballin’ one…

ps. ryan and melissa are the straight tightest

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Filed under cool stuffz

such incredible writing

Son-Of-A-Bitch Mouse Solves Maze Researchers Spent Months Building

IOWA CITY, IA—The mouse briskly traversed the complicated wooden maze in under 30 seconds, roughly 1/8,789,258 the time it took to secure funding for the experiment.

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Filed under things I find amusing

obviously I got as much out of this class as was put in…

cmps80u was the worst class I ever took, and even now, its legacy lives on…

gee, professor, what a really helpful evaluation.  Without it, I would’ve only known for sure that I had passed, but now I am positive.  your interest and engagement was mediocre during the course, and obviously has not improved since.

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Filed under bitchbitchbitch

cheaper than the real thing

sidewalk_child.jpg
Sidewalk Psychiatry

Really, there are too many other cool things on this site, just check it out.

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Filed under art art art

TED

first, a really excellent talk from the TED (Technology/Entertainment/Design), a annual conference held in Monterey, CA which brings together the “world’s greatest thinkers and doers,” who are challenged to speak for 18 minutes (no more, no less) on pretty much anything that strikes their fancy. Each year there is a theme, like “Passion” or “Rethinking Poverty,” which really gives these individuals lots of leeway in their subject-matter. Some of my other favorites are:

  • Clifford Stoll, a textbook example of the “mad scientist” archetype, the talk is fittingly called, “18 minutes with an agile mind.”
  • Dave Eggers, on his non-profit pirate/superhero/time travel emporiums and tutoring centers, 826 Valencia.
  • Isabel Allende, on passion, world poverty, and feminism.

To be honest, these are pretty much all the talks I’ve seen, there are literally hundreds available, and they all seem to be amazing. Check them out.

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Filed under posts of substance