Category Archives: humor

unambitious dragons!

perfect.  just amazingly well-done.

david sedaris delivers a pizza:


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what in the christ

so I don’t remember what the source of this quote is, all I remember is hearing it and writing it down:

“crazier than a dozen opium-smoking frogs”

which really, is a singularly striking visual, and is particularly effective at conveying the concept of utter lunacy. which brings me to part II of this post:

The Playmobil Security Check Point

seriously. what? this charming example of 1984-lite is, uh, creepy as fuck. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking this, judging by the product reviews:

“I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up.”

“Next we can have a nice Nerf Nightstick and little Heinrich can have great start getting ready for his future job with the TSA, local police force or the new STASI ( Secure Transportation And Safety Inititive). Be the first on your block. also look forward to the upcoming Halliburton Play detention center real simulated barbed wire.”

even more amusing is the “Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed” section, with such gems as “Kid’s Pimp Suit Costume (Size:X-small 4-6),” “Folkmanis Beaver Finger Puppet,” as well as the everpopular, “JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser / Tank,” for the low price of $20,000.

humor such as this has no price

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oh that’s right I have a blog

yeah, it really is better sans feline

and! What do these (seemingly) unrelated things have in common?

“knowing what’s best for poor people”
“barack obama”
“expensive sandwiches”
“oscar parties”

(they’re all things that white people like)

this post brought to you by my almost posting it with the phrase “thing shave” instead of “things have”
man, that would’ve been awkward.

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